Asking the big Life Coaching Questions, and it inevitably comes back to the most basic question – what’s stopping you from doing it right now – right here? So we turn to get started, and, almost the moment we start, there are a million distractions in our way. Chaos looms in front of us and it seems to be a constant companion along the path.
With any new project, we have every intention to learn more, and do more and yet we find ourselves in this spin cycle that we don’t understand. We go from one thing to the next and attend to all sorts of minor distractions and petty emergencies along the way. And it seems as though our over-arching goal – the big life stuff – just falls further and further behind.
life coaching questions for clients
I used to get frustrated and let myself boil over when seemingly innocuous things would go awry. But as I deepened my meditation practice, I began to appreciate that I could indeed pull back and find some calmness and clarity in the moment.
Things still got done, the world didn’t end, but that feeling of always chasing began to creep back into my life. As though each project was layer upon layer of intensity and skipping little details was the only way to be more efficient.
What does a life coach do
Somehow, something had to change. It is like breaking free from a rut, or a comfort zone – or from gravity. The pull to stay stuck and doing the same thing is almost imperceptible but at the same time as though it is an unbreakable force of nature. It’s like gravity in that we just assume there is nothing we can do to counter it. Of if there is, it involves massive hard work!
But there is a way to achieve the seemingly impossible
To break free from gravity, we have to have a strategy that enables us to forge forward even under trying conditions. The three things that we’re going to look at are seemingly simple – but that’s always the way – simple is best.
Do I need a life coach
– Non-negotiable items – some things are locked in – like brushing your teeth.
– Just say no often, and without guilt, shame or second thoughts.
– Drills – make it a routine, then a habit and finally it becomes an organic part of your lifestyle.
Part 1: Non-negotiable items – We brush our teeth twice a day – without fail.
When you set a non negotiable – it’s as though it is just part of the scenery and it gets done no matter what else life throws at you.
What does a life coach do exactly
For me personally, it is best demonstrated with my daily yoga or my running.
I do yoga everyday at 6am – on the mat, no excuses, nothing to hide. It has taken me three years to get to this point, and I am really grateful to have the opportunity to do it most mornings at 6am. See how I went from everyday to most mornings within the space of a sentence?
Well, the truth is I don’t get to do yoga everyday – because life does happen – three small children, a business, life etc – things come up and I have appointments that mean yoga is happening on a particular day. But this just means it is definitely happening the next day. And the day before as well. It’s about having the urge to get back on the mat immediately and no let a missed day mean a missed three days, or week or a month.
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By keeping this strict discipline around my yoga practice – I have grown exponentially with yoga, but just as important – it has become truly a part of my lifestyle.
What started as an occasional activity – once a week, then twice a week, then three times a week (and this is over the period of months) became a five and six times a week pleasure. Now, like this week, I will only miss a day here and there because of commitments or because I am recovering from running a half marathon.
And it works in the same way with endurance running. I started half marathons at 41 years old and that was after three years of running three and four times a week. Again, building the non negotiable aspect of running is around making the time space and then being able to say no to whatever else may come up.
Being able to Say No
Saying no is definitely harder in the afternoon – which is when I do my running. Things can go off plan during the day and it just makes sense to catch up in the afternoon. So it’s particularly challenging to say no. But I learned to – and also learned to embrace the suck of the first few hundred steps of each run, and them savour the warmth as my old body creaks into gear and I get into my running flow.
I made it non-negotiable – another answer to the big Life Coaching Questions.
Just say no
Is about de-cluttering your inbox. It’s about smiling and declining invitations. About passing over advertising material. About skipping gossip sessions.
What is a life coach and what do they do
About making the right choice based on your intuition and intention and then having the courage to actually say no. And get back to it and not feel a pull or a twang or a the gravity dragging you back.
I said no to TV and Netflix and gaming a couple of years back, and it has blessed me with clarity and calm. I’m not tired from staying up to watch a whole season in one night. Or staying up to get through the next level, or whatever. I actually anticipate getting into bed just before 9pm and having a quick flick through an ebook before falling asleep by around 930. It means I easily get 2 plus hours of sleep before midnight and they are worth double points.
When I don’t get a good dose of rest, I’m short and irritable and impatient – and my intention droops from giving to getting.
Benefits of life coaching
The three things to help you get better sleep are saying no more often and working your routine. For me, that started with getting the TV out of the bedroom – and in it’s place we installed a big pink salt lamp. Now, we have the warm glow of the lamp instead of the epileptic flashes of the screen. Second, I stopped watching TV pretty much – just one hour a night – and we started a family tradition of No TV Tuesdays. It works and the house is quiet and we read a biut more.
Letting go of TV means letting go of the drama and story-nonsense that is pretty mediocre anyways. Like no-one ever whispers from their deathbed about that episode of Melrose back in 89 do they? It’s really not that good and out of everything holding you back in life – some crappy TV is most likely the root cause of your lack of sleep just as much as anything else. Answering the big Life Coaching Questions is so much more powerful.
At the other end of the night – ie morning – set your alarm for 5am and check out those pure moments in the morning before you get a chance to carried away with your self talk. This is the engine of your day – set an intention for self compassion and see what light you can share with others. You’ll be more rested and hopefully more aligned. And remember what my 3yr old says – put a smile on your mouth – and be your authentic best.